It’s been a little over a month since I became “guildless” and I have personally found it very rewarding.
Prior to GGC (Girl Gamer Chronicles) I had found myself in a situation where I felt my gameplay was being watched, judged, dictated even and it started to creep into my real life a little. It all of a sudden got too much, I was feeling suffocated, frustrated & defensive.
On a few occasions I would feel I was walking on eggshells as I am a bit brash and I was constantly worrying that my thoughts and actions would cause upset. This feeling become more regular and got so bad I felt I couldn’t be myself. I started to become a bit of a physiological mess and I started to think differently, I was subdued and misunderstood.
One thing I will say is when you find yourself in a situation where YOU can’t be you, remove yourself. I am not saying I’m perfect I am far from it, but this is my blog, my feelings and my point of view.
If I could rewind time maybe I should have done things differently, maybe I deliberately pushed people away so there was no resolution… who knows.
Right now I am in a good place. It’s like all the thick clouds, thunder and rain have been removed and I am starting to see a blue sky. I am my own person and I play by own goals and timers and have no one to answer to. That’s how a game should be.
I have actually achieved a lot more since going solo than I have in the past 12 months drifting along in the stale state I was in. I feel I have evolved as a person and even writing this is helping me getting my feelings out in the open and cleanse.
I have always thought of myself as a social butterfly that needs to have people around me, I am little surprised that the change has actually been for the best. Right now I am solo in my Guild and have an alliance with an old Guild I was in and I am happy this way. I can pick and choose if I want to talk to said alliance or go off and be alone.
Oh and PUG’s are not all that bad J
I will leave you with a nice little quote.